Thursday, September 28, 2006

Chavez the Sensible

Here's some more crazy talk from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez (for those of you who don't subscribe to TIME.)

TIME: Why do you attack President George W. Bush with such jolting language?

CHAVEZ: I believe words have great weight, and I want people to know exactly what I mean. I'm not attacking President Bush; I'm simply counterattacking. Bush has been attacking the world, and not just with words--with bombs. When I say these things I believe I'm speaking for many people, because they too believe this moment is our opportunity to stop the threat of a U.S. empire that uses the U.N. to justify its aggression against half the world. In Bush's speech to the U.N., he sounded as if he wants to be master of the world. I changed my original speech after reading his.

. . .

TIME: Do your feelings about Bush reflect your feelings toward
America in general?
CHAVEZ: No. I revere America as the nation of Abraham
Lincoln, Martin Luther King and Mark Twain--who was a great anti-imperialist,
who opposed U.S. adventurism in the Spanish-American War.


The caption of the 1899 cartoon at right has John Bull (that is, England) saying, "it's really most extraordinary what training will do. Why only the other day I thought that man unable to support himself." The figures depicted as savage children are identified as Puerto Rico, Hawaii, Cuba, Philippines, and the Mariana Islands--Uncle Sam's spoils from the Spanish-American war.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Distinguished Mr. Lewis

Big ups to the Longfaced Jackal (see the gagged one in the photo at right), who got great reviews for his performance in ReMeChi Theater's production of Orphans by Lyle Kessler. Jack played a role made famous by John Mahoney (of Frasier fame), when Gary Sinise directed it for Chicago's Steppenwolf theatre in 1985. I wasn't able to get to the ReMeChi production until its closing night (so if you didn't see it, you're out of luck) and Jack asked me not to read the reviews until I'd seen the play. I finally got around to Googling them yesterday and was psyched to find that they were so positive. Orphans is not the kind of play I would seek out if I didn't know someone who was in it (I look for more experimental, historical or canonical fare in my stage life), but I thought Jack did a great job. Probably my favorite quote from the reviews I read (Jack says the show got 9 reviews in all) was the one described our Mr. Lewis as "already distinguished on the storefront circuit for his Vronsky in Anna Karenina and Agamemnon in The Orestia last season" (both of which I saw).

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Sad Day at the Rock

Saturday nights will no longer be the same, for The Great Chris Parnell will not be back for SNL: Season 32. As the most loyal readers of this blog know, Chris (a native of Memphis who was born, like I was, in 1967) is the only 4-time repeater in the Favorite Celebrity category of my yearly Time Capsule. So say farewell to Merv "The Perv" Watson. Adieu, Tato, manservant for Nuni and Nooni. Adios Tyler of Applachian Emergency Room, with your cornucopia of anal mishaps (the can of Axe body spray, the jar of cotton balls, the plastic bowling pin, and my favorite: the Native American rainstick). May we never forget the quick, but nervous wit of Wayne Bloder, brother of Kip (played by Jimmy Fallon) or the vicious rap style, featured of late in "Lazy Sunday." The sight of you in a blue Speedo taking a dump on somebody's lawn and then scurrying away will ever be seared on our collective brain. If they ever come out with a Best of Chris Parnell DVD (and they should), put it on my wish list.

Friday, September 22, 2006

You Go, Hugo!

I just finished reading a transcript of the address Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez delivered at the United Nations on Wednesday in which he vilified George Bush. The video clip I saw indicates that he got big laughs with the Devil references. The New York Times report confirms this. The standard media response (echoed by The Daily Show with John Stewart), though, seems to be that Chavez is crazy. I'm going with funny, though --at least with the devil stuff. The sulphur touch was delightful. I also agree with much of what Chavez says, both here and in other venues.

Here's how Wednesdays' speech begins:
Representatives of the governments of the world, good morning to all of you. First of all, I would like to invite you, very respectfully, to those who have not read this book, to read it. Noam Chomsky, one of the most prestigious American and world intellectuals, Noam Chomsky, and this is one of his most recent books, Hegemony or Survival: The Imperialist Strategy of the United States. [Holds up book, waves it in front of General Assembly. See second photo from the left above.] It's an excellent book to help us understand what has been happening in the world throughout the 20th century, and what's happening now, and the greatest threat looming over our planet.

"The hegemonic pretensions of the American empire are placing at risk the very survival of the human species. We continue to warn you about this danger and we appeal to the people of the United States and the world to halt this threat, which is like a sword hanging over our heads. I had considered reading from this book, but, for the sake of time," [flips through the pages, which are numerous] "I will just leave it as a recommendation.

"It reads easily, it is a very good book, I'm sure Madame [President] you are familiar with it. It appears in English, in Russian, in Arabic, in German. I think that the first people who should read this book are our brothers and sisters in the United States, because their threat is right in their own house.

"The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself, is right in the house. And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here." [crosses himself] "And it smells of sulfur still today. Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world. "

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

36 Feliz

The birthday festivities got started on Sunday the 17th this year, with a visit to the Lincoln Park Art Faire (live music, hot dogs, lawn-rolicking) and the Lincoln Park Zoo, where Emilio saw his first white-lipped deer (native to China), sea lion and gorilla. Buses then transported us to Target (new sheets and dish towels were on our to-buy list), dinner at the Flourish bakery on Bryn Mawr Avenue, a visit to the Bryn Mawr swing set (you may have seen the video record on The Emilio Report), and a short walk home through pouring rain.

On Monday, birthday greetings started coming in via e-mail and phone from Fort Worth, Buenos Aires, Madrid and Paris, and I came home from work on Tuesday bearing gifts: a leather shoulder bag, ear rings, a silver money clip/i.d. holder. The three of us then headed to Olé Olé--one of the few neighborhood restaurants we had not visited, where we dined on croquetas de jamón, albondigas, sopa de tortilla, pollo con arroz, carne asada, Morning O's and Enfamil formula.

Back at the house, a cake was presented, candles were lit, and our neighbor Brian (a chef at Café Bernard at 2100 N. Halsted) dropped in to take a family portrait. A song was then sung, a video filmed (see image above), a fork employed, and a good time was had by all.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

Aught Six: Act Two

Welcome to the second installment of this blog's version of As the World Turns (for a look back at "Act One," click here). As with the first installment, most of this stuff has been lifted directly from the weekly e-mail reports I get from Harper's.

Scene 1: Africa
On May 30th, the June 5th edition of TIME reports an International Rescue Committee estimate that 3.9 million people have died from war-related causes since the conflict in Congo began in 1998, making it the world’s most lethal conflict since World War II (Congo, the second-largest country in Sub-Saharan Africa, has a population of 63 million people and is larger than California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas combined.)

Some Congo history from TIME: “ . . . Congo won its independence [from Belgium] in 1960. But within months its first elected Prime Minister had been killed by Belgium- and U.S.-backed opponents because of his growing ties to the Soviet Union, an assassination that eventually opened the way for army general Mobutu Sese Seko (see photo at right) to grab power. A U.S. favorite during the Cold War, Mobutu presided over one of the most corrupt regimes in Africa history.


"In 1996 neighboring Rwanda and Uganda jointly invaded Congo to eliminate the Hutu militias, known as the Interahamwe, that had been responsible for the Rwandan genocide and were hiding in Congo’s eastern forests. As the invading armies advanced across the country, Mobutu fled, and the invaders installed a small-time rebel leader named Laurent Kabila as President. But things got worse. In 1998, after Kabila got too friendly with the Interhamwe, Uganda and Rwanda invaded Congo again, triggering what became known as Africa’s first world war. The scramble for power and resources dragged in forces from eight African neighbors, pawned a myriad of Congolese factions and set off campaigns of ethnic cleansing. Kabila, as nasty and corrupt as his predecessor, was shot dead by one of his bodyguards in 2001.

Laurent's son Joseph Kabila, 29 (see photo at left), assumed power. One year later, after some arm twisting by continental power South Africa . . . the young leader and most of the rebel groups and foreign forces fighting in the country signed a peace deal. A national army was formed, aimed at integrating soldiers who had previously been trying to kill one other. . . . But in some parts of the country, the fighting has never really stopped.”

The IRC says that though the peace deal was signed more than 3 years ago, 1,250 Congolese still die every day because of “war-related causes—the vast majority succumbing to diseases and malnutrition that wouldn’t exist in peaceful times.”

In June, an I
slamic militia takes over Somalia's capital, Mogadishu, routing U.S.-backed warlords. In August, Ethiopia denied reports that it had attacked Somalia, but Somalia declared an "all out holy war" on Ethiopia.

In July, a United Nations official in Sudan lamented that violence in Darfur has gotten worse since the signing of a recent peace accord.


Also in July, the five-year-old world trade talk known as the Doha round because that's the city they started in, broke down over agriculture policies: The U.S. has been pushing for the EU and others to end their agriculture tariffs, with others responding that the U.S. first needs to cut back its farm subsidies—and that is a no-go. Bad news for cotton-producing African countries like Benin, Burkina Faso, Chad and Mali (see map at right).

Scene 2: The Americas
In May, Alvaro Uribe (at left) became the first president to win re-election in Colombia since 1892.

In June, former President Alan García beat Ollanta Humala in Peru's runoff presidential
election. During his last presidency, which ended 16 years ago, García led Peru into an economic collapse, but he was able to gain approximately 55 percent of Sunday's vote. Some analysts believe voters elected García more as a rejection of Humala—who had been endorsed by Hugo Chavez of Venezuela—rather than as an endorsement of the former president.

Meanwhile, in the U.S., the Senate voted for the ninth consecutive year to keep the minimum wage at $5.15 per hour, and House Republicans declined to renew the 1965 Voting Rights Act because it was unfair to Southerners.

In July, Felipe Calderon (see electoral poster at right), the candidate of Mexico's conservative Institutional Revolutionary Party, was apparently elected president of the nation, though Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, the leftist mayor of Mexico City, refused to concede and demanded a complete recount.

It was reported that advisers at federally funded "pregnancy resource centers" in the United States were telling women that abortions increase the risk of cancer, infertility, and mental illness.

Scene 3: Europe


In August, under pressure from U.S. officials, authorities in the United Kingdom announced the discovery of a terrorist plot to blow up as many as ten passenger planes in the air, possibly by using explosive liquids hidden inside sports-drink bottles. Twenty-one suspects were arrested. Carry-on luggage was banned on flights in and out of Heathrow airport.

Scene 4: Israel and Palestine

In May, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas (see photo at right) called on the Hamas-led Palestinian Authority to accept the goal of establishing a Palestinian state (and thus acknowledge Israel's right to exist); if Hamas does not comply, he said that he will call a national referendum on the issue.

In June, it was reported that an Israeli artillery shell killed at least seven civilians, including five members of one family (including young children aged ten, three, and one) who were picnicking on a beach in Gaza. Israeli officials expressed regret and said that the shell had been aimed at a target 400 yards away from the picnic. Later, however, the Israeli military absolved itself of responsibility in the deaths. An Israeli committee admitted that Israeli forces fired six shells on and around the beach, but found that a mine planted by Hamas (or possibly a buried shell) had, by coincidence, exploded and killed the family at around the same time as the shelling. A former Pentagon battlefield analyst said that the shrapnel and craters he found at the scene of the explosion were consistent with shelling by Israelis, as were the wounds suffered by survivors.


Hamas declared that it would no longer abide by a 16-month-old cease-fire and fired a rocket into Israel.

In July, Palestinian militants conducted a raid in Israel and abducted an Israeli soldier, whom they carried to Gaza via a secret tunnel. Israel retaliated by bombing Gaza's main power plant, two bridges, the offices of Palestine's prime minister and interior minister, and a soccer field, and by arresting as many as 64 Palestinian officials. Palestinian militants demanded that Israel release all Palestinian prisoners who are women or under the age of 18.

Later in July, war erupted between Hezbollah and Israel after the Lebanese militia launched Operation Truthful Promise against Israel by crossing the border and capturing two Israeli soldiers. Israel countered by staging Operation Just Reward against Lebanon, bombing roads, bridges, power stations, fuel depots, ports, and airports, and killing numerous civilians. Hezbollah bombed Haifa, surprising Israel with the range of its rockets and killing at least eight civilians.

Ehud Olmert, prime minister of Israel (see photo at left), said Hezbollah's war on Israel was a ruse to divert attention from Iran's nuclear weapons program.

In August, after an Israeli bombing raid killed 54 people, including 37 children, in the Lebanese village of Qana, Beirut residents set fire to a U.N. headquarters. Israel agreed to suspend some bombing operations for 48 hours in order to investigate the deaths. Israeli bombs later struck a U.N. post in southern Lebanon, killing four peacekeepers. U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said the targeting was "apparently deliberate," and Olmert called Annan's comments "premature and erroneous."

Hezbollah guerillas fired several hundred rockets into towns in northern Israel, hitting a laundry detergent factory and a cemetery, and injuring at least 31 people. Nine Israeli soldiers were killed in an ambush, and Israeli officials claimed to have killed some 200 Hezbollah "operatives" since the outset of hostilities.

Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah (see photo at left) boasted that his forces were inflicting "maximum casualties" and warned Israel that if it "bombed our capital Beirut, we will bomb the capital of your usurping entity." Ultimately, ,however, Hezbollah accepted a U.N. ceasefire resolution, and agreed to allow Lebanese and U.N. troops to serve as peacekeepers in southern Lebanon and subsequently declared victory in the 34-day war. Prime Minister Ehud Olmert pledged that Israel would "do better" in what Defense Minister Amir Peretz referred to as "the next round."

In September, U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan denounced Israel's use of cluster bombs, and Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert refused to lift a seven-week-old blockade on Lebanon.

French president Jacques Chirac said that sending 15,000 United Nations troops to Lebanon was "excessive."

Scene 5: Asia

In May, the Nepal House of Representatives declared the King of Nepal (see photo at right) to be powerless.

In June, the United States announced that it would join 5 other nations in demanding that Iran immediately suspend uranium-enrichment activities. In August, Iran was launching missiles at Kurds and cracking down on "decadent" satellite dishes.

In July, North Korea launched six rockets over the Sea of Japan, including a Taepodong-2 intercontinental ballistic missile, which apparently was aborted after just 40 seconds.

Bombings on trains and in train stations killed 181 people in Mumbai, India, and led India to postpone peace talks with Pakistan.

In August, the Sri Lankan air force bombed an orphanage and killed dozens of schoolgirls, and the Tamil Tigers failed to kill the High Commissioner of Pakistan with an exploding rickshaw.

Scene Six: The History Stacks

In June, The Army Corps of Engineers admitted that its incompetence was largely to blame for the destruction of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

In August, Nobel-prize winning German novelist Günter Grass (see photo at left) announced that he had once been a member of the Nazi SS.

Scene Seven: The Cemetery

In September, Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, died after a stingray stabbed him in the heart.

Scene Eight: Iraq

In May, the Los Angeles Times reported a top U.S. ground commander in Iraq telling his officers that s
ome U.S. troops have been their "own worst enemy" because of how they've dealt with Iraqis. "We have to understand that the way we treat Iraqis has a direct effect on the number of insurgents that we are fighting," he said.

Later in May, The New York Times and Los Angeles Times front what military officials say appear to be the murders of two dozen Iraqis by Marines last November. A congressional official said the shootings were "methodical in nature." The Marines reportedly killed a few unarmed men taken from a taxi. Then they went into houses, where they killed women and children. An initial press release from the military said most of the civilians were killed by a "roadside bomb." The NYT, which has the more detailed report, asked a "senior defense official" how many Iraqis were really killed by the bomb. The answer: "Zero." The military only investigated after TIME started digging and reported the story back in March. The killings are now the focus of three investigations, including one into the possible cover-up. "When these investigations come out, there's going to be a firestorm," one retired military lawyer told the Washington Post. "It will be worse than Abu Ghraib—nobody was killed at Abu Ghraib."

In July, four U.S. soldiers in Iraq were being investigated for raping a woman, then killing her and three other members of her family; it was suggested that the accused, Private Stephen D. Green, of Midland, Texas (see photo at left) may have spent up to a week planning the attack. A week later, five more American soldiers were charged in the case and Iraqi prime minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki denounced the immunity of American soldiers in the case. It was later reported that Green had said that, in Iraq, "killing people is like squashing an ant, I mean, you kill somebody and it's like, 'All right, let's go get some pizza.'"

It was later announced that May was the deadliest month for Baghdad residents since the beginning of the American occupation.

In August, it was pointed out that the United States has been fighting in Iraq for as long as it fought Germany during World War II and thousands of U.S. Marine reserves were involuntarily recalled to active duty to offset a lack of volunteers for the fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In September, The Pentagon announced that civilian casualties in Iraq had increased recently by more than fifty percent, and death squads were said to be torturing and killing as many as 1,800 people per month.

Scene Nine: Al Qaeda Situation Room

In June, United States forces succeeded in killing Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, with two five-hundred-pound bombs that were dropped on a safe house north of Baghdad. Zarqawi reportedly survived the bombing at first and even tried to get away but was strapped to a stretcher, where he died.

In August, Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman lost the Democratic Senate primary election to anti-Iraq-war candidate Ned Lamont (the Lamont campaign made a lot of hay out of the photo at right). Lieberman then announced that he would run as an independent candidate. Vice President Dick Cheney said that Lamont's victory was encouraging to "Al Qaeda types." One week later, Lieberman said that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld should resign.

Scene 10: The Courts

While acknowledging that Khaled al-Masri (see photo at left)--an entirely innocent former detainee of the U.S. government-- "deserves a remedy" for allegedly being tortured by the CIA, a federal judge dismissed al-Masri's case this past May because allowing it to proceed would expose government secrets.

In July, the high courts of Georgia and New York both upheld bans on gay marriage.

Scene Eleven: The Executive Office

In June, it was reported that the Pentagon has decided to remove a reference to Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions-- the one that bans torture and cruel treatment as well as "outrages on personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment"--from a new edition of the Army Field Manual on interrogation. The change, which would reverse decades of military policy, follows President Bush's declaration in 2002 that the Geneva Conventions do not apply to "unlawful combatants" such as terrorists.

In June, three detainees at the American prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, committed suicide using nooses made from clothing and bedsheets. Navy Rear-Admiral Harry Harris said "I believe this was not an act of desperation but an act of asymmetric warfare against us." All three men had been in the camp for about four years and had recently engaged in a hunger strike.

In July, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that President George W. Bush had overstepped his authority in establishing military tribunals for Guantanamo Bay detainees.

President Bush also said that he was "willing to abide by the ruling. "It didn't say we couldn't have done--couldn't have made that decision, see?" Bush added. "They were silent on whether or not Guantanamo--whether we should have used Guantanamo. In other words, they accepted the use of Guantanamo, the decision I made."

Scene Twelve: A Note of Hope

In June, the worldwide rate of HIV infections stabilized for the first time in history.


The Map of Africa at right is colored according to the percentage of the adult (ages 15-49) population with HIV/AIDS. Data from UNAIDS - the majority of percentages are from 1999, although several are more recent (2001, 2002).